You Manifest what you focus on

 

How many of you have heard or seen that exercise where your told to look for something, say a book, car something tangible, and then you're told to look for something red, and then all you see are all the things within view that are red? I’m willing to bet that you have gone through this once in your life. Did you ever start to think about what you focus on becomes reality?

One of the lessons I share with many of my clients is that what you focus on, you will manifest. Personally, I have found this to be very true. For positive and negative events in our lives. What is truly challenging is many of us have a tendency to focus on the negative things going on in our lives versus the positive ones. Then what happens? More negative stuff happens. A couple years ago, this was very true for me, It felt like every month, something bad would happen. I would stew over it for hours, then another negative event would happen, and another, and another. It got to the point where I would start to ask myself, what is going to knock me down next. Guess what, the cycle continued. I think I went through pretty much every hardship imaginable and of course hit rock bottom. 

But then I started to try and find the good things going on in my life. At first it started off simple. I had a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on and food in my belly. Then I expanded. I had a job, I had a car, I was still mobile enough to walk and exercise. I had friends and family that cared about me. And guess what. Things started to get better. 

The mind is a powerful thing. If you focus on what is going good for you, then your mind will try to find more of those things. This will provide more opportunity, more growth, and hopefully, more peace of mind. 

So, I challenge you. If time seems tough right now, reflect on what is going well for you at the moment. Then find more of that. Will greatness happen overnight? I can’t promise that. It takes time and it is different for everyone. But, if you start to focus on positive opportunities, you will have more positive opportunities. 

Build Internal Momentum to Achieve External Momentum

 

Have you ever heard that in order to achieve external momentum, you have to create internal momentum? You’re probably like, what the hell is he talking about. 

The other day in my master class, we were talking about momentum. How do you get it, how do you keep it going, etc. What we captured was in order to maintain and keep it going, you need to build it up first. But how do you do that? Well, it depends on what you are trying to achieve. 

It’s kind of like pushing a car. From a stop, it is really difficult, right! You gotta put in a lot of force, really dig in, and slowly it will start to move. The more you lean into it, put more muscle behind it, the more it will start to move. Eventually, it will start gaining speed and the next thing you know, you have momentum. At this point, little effort is needed to keep it going. 

Well, let’s say you are trying to reconnect with a family member that you have not spoken with in a long time. At first, it may take several short conversations to get things going. Then a few more, and a few more. Eventually, the conversations will become easier, and longer, and hopefully, if all is going well, in time you have re-kindled that relationship. But, you had to start that momentum within you right? So what can you do in this situation? 

Start with talking with someone you already have a good relationship with. Then, start talking with someone that your relationship is a little more sporadic. Then another, and another, then talk with that long lost relative. You see, you started by gettingyourself in the right state of mind to start having conversations, then another, and another until you built up that internal momentum. Now that you have done that, you can more easily have those other conversations with those you haven’t spoken to in a while!

Does that make sense? How could you apply this principle into another area of your life?

 

Today I want to share with you the freedom of choice in conjunction with momentum. You see, when you build momentum, it can fuel you to make better choices. For the past year, I have been working hard on regaining my health and fitness. I have also been working on my mental health, becoming the best version of me. Not only for myself, but for those around me. Because I have been consistent with both, it is much easier to choose actions that are better for me than others. 

As an example, I am traveling this week. I could have easily hunkered down in my hotel room and did nothing. But knowing that I have been very sedentary all day, I made the choice to seek out if the hotel had a fitness center. I was happy to learn that they did. Not only the usual treadmill, elliptical, and bike, but a bench and free weights as well. So, I was able to get a total body workout in and walk for 20 minutes on the treadmill. It actually felt really good to move and lift after a long day of sitting. What made it easier though, is I have created a habit. They say it takes on average 66 days to form a new behavior. Some behaviors could take longer than others. But if consistent, it can happen. I have well over 66 days now, and one the days when I do nothing, I actually miss it. 

So here is my challenge for you. If there is something you are aiming to achieve and create a new behavior, look at a calendar, plan it out, and stick to it as best as you can. Each day you are successful, you are that much close to creating a new habit, which will give you the momentum to keep moving forward. 

What is something you will implement in the near future to give you momentum?

 

Yesterday I talked about reframing issues that you can’t seem to navigate through, into opportunities for action and growth. Today I have another small pearl of wisdom for you that is along the same lines. 

How do you take a problem that you are dealing with, and come up with a solution? Well, it’s not as difficult as you think. One way to do this, is to take that problem, and turn it into a question. For instance, let's say you are struggling to find that next big opportunity. Maybe it is a promotion or project at work, a new car, or a fitness goal. Rather than saying, I am not finding the right projects at work that bring me joy, ask, what are all the projects I could work on or create that would reignite that spark and bring me joy? Or I just can’t seem to find the car I want. Instead, ask yourself, what are the types of cars I would like? 

You may think it is kind of silly, but when you ask these questions to yourself, it opens the doors for more opportunities to present themselves. Your brain naturally starts looking for opportunities or solutions, as opposed to being just stuck and staying where you are at. Does that make sense?

If you are stuck with something right now, rather than accepting that fate, turn it into a question and see what other opportunities come out for you. I bet you will be pleasantly surprised.

Reframing scenarios from this doesn’t work to what can work!

How many times do you catch yourself saying, that won't work, or I can’t do that? Probably more than you would care to admit. Over the years, some of us have been conditioned to think that if something hasn’t been done before, or the first time we tried something it didn’t work, that’s the result and we should just accept that. 

But what if instead, we started thinking, how can I make that work? Can you feel how that changes the possibilities? The first comes from a place of scarcity, of uncertainty. Where the second comes from a place of hope and abundance. That is where the magic can happen. Is it easy? Oh hell no. I still catch myself more often than I care to admit falling into that scarcity mindset. But, I am more cognizant of it now and choose to look at things differently. That’s what I want to challenge you with today. What is something that you have been working on that you feel is just not working? How can you say to yourself how can I make this work?

Let me know what comes up for you below.

The best made plans don’t always work

 

Have you ever had one of the moments where you spent minutes, even hours preparing for something, and then come to find out that all the prep work you did only somewhat applies? That was me today.

I spent all weekend preparing for a virtual interview, preparing for the most commonly asked behavioral interview questions, and when the time came, none of the questions I prepared for were asked. And it’s not like I only captured a few questions. I went for the top 25. Lol

Now, I was able to pivot and use some of the answers I had for other questions for the ones asked, so adaptability was good, but man could that have easily thrown me off. Come to think of it, me from 10-15 years ago probably would not have handled it as well.

But here’s the thing. Not everything is going to go as planned. Especially when it is situations that are out of your control. All you can do is adjust and hope for the best. Now, part of me believes that experience helps with this. Some might be able to muscle their way through if they are cognitive enough, but some may struggle. The key in my opinion is be prepared as best as you can. Then, just let it go. 

I’m a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, and recently I have been taking strides to look at the best case scenario in all events. I am by no means great at it. I still revert back to a mindset of scarcity from time to time. But, acknowledging that and trying to be better the next time that thought happens is all I can do.

I’m curious, what curve ball was thrown at you after much time was spent to prepare, only to have to redirect your thought process?

The cost of doing something vs the cost of not doing something

 

The other day I was reminded of the cost of doing something versus the cost of not doing something. Let me explain.

Oftentimes there is something that we may want to do or buy, and we start with the questions. Can I afford it? Is it worth the cost or investment? Is it something I really want or need? We’ll ask the really hard questions like that, but we won't ask the question of what will it cost me if I don’t do that, or buy that. Which outweighs which?

It can be hard to tell sometimes, but I think if you actually take the time to look at it from all angles, you can make a better decision. There have been many things over the years where I was not sure if I should purchase it or not. Looking back on a lot of them, I was glad I did. There were great lessons in many of those opportunities. There have also been a couple where I was like, yeah, I probably didn’t need that. But I still learned something from that experience. Was the price I paid worth it? Did I get it for a bargain, or pay too much? Did I learn something that will enhance my life? Only you will know the answer, but if you don’t take the time to dive into it, you’ll never truly know.

What’s something you purchased that in the moment you maybe weren’t too sure, but later realized you were glad you did? I would love to hear about it. 

Do you get uncomfortable to reach your potential?

Take a moment and think back to one of your biggest accomplishments. Was it landing that dream job that brought you immense fulfillment? Was it pursuing further education after high school, maybe even going on to grad school? Or perhaps you made a bold move, like selling the farm and starting a new life in the city. Whatever it was, reflect on how you felt leading up to that moment. Were you anxious, nervous, or uncomfortable? Despite those feelings, did you achieve your goal and reach your true potential?

That's the message I want to share with you today. In my experience, stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for reaching your potential. I've faced numerous situations where I had to get uncomfortable to grow. Whether it was joining the Army to afford college, juggling full-time studies and work while raising toddlers, or leaving a secure job for better growth opportunities—each step required a leap into discomfort to unlock new potential.

Sure, it can be intimidating. In fact, I'm in that season again myself. But by leaning in and giving your best effort, you can uncover opportunities you never thought possible. So today, I encourage you to think about something challenging and uncomfortable in your life and lean into it. Who knows what incredible opportunities might open up for you!

When is good enough ever really good enough?

 

Do you ever catch yourself saying I’m not good enough to do this? I know I have. It is so easy to get stuck in our own heads and think that we are not good enough to accomplish something. We’ll blame it on past experiences, not learning enough, not experiencing enough, and on and on. The truth is though, you are more than enough. 

Anytime you take any action to better yourself in a situation, you are doing more than you have before, and have learned a new skill that will continue to help you in the future. Sometimes, you just need a reminder of the things you have done to get to where you are and that you are enough.

I never considered myself a stellar student. I did the bare minimum to get by, and for years would tell myself that I was not smart enough, or brave enough, or whatever to accomplish the things I wanted to do in life. And to this day, I still struggle with this. But, then I am reminded of all the hard things I have done to get me to where I am today, and that I am definitely more than enough. But why do we do this?

Because it keeps us safe. Our brain likes to keep us in a familiar place, where we are not challenged, not forced to look at our fears, and not put ourselves in any kind of jeopardy. It’s in those times of uncertainty that we grow and thrive, where we adapt and persevere. I know it's scary and uncomfortable at times, but very necessary at times. 

So, I challenge you. When was a time where you felt you weren’t good enough to do something, and you ended up doing it anyway? How did you feel afterwards? What did you learn from that moment?

Every day brings its own challenge!

 

Every day brings its own set of challenges. Some might be a breeze, while others seem insurmountable or simply frustrating. But no matter what you're facing, I believe you have the strength to overcome them. Sometimes, we all need a little help along the way, and that’s where I come in.

You might be wondering, "How can you help me?" It’s not as complicated as it sounds. Over the past several months, I’ve dedicated myself to helping people move past their limiting beliefs and obstacles, big or small. Sometimes, it's as simple as tweaking one habit, while other times, it's about improving communication with someone you find difficult to connect with.

Too often, we try to tackle everything on our own and end up feeling stuck, unable to see things from a different perspective. That's where an outsider's viewpoint can make all the difference. If you're struggling to take the next step on a project or need a fresh perspective, let's connect. Together, we can explore a new way of looking at your situation, and it could be the game-changer you've been searching for.